Yesterday my ex and I took our 11 year old daughter to see the new Beauty and the Beast. I called my ex ahead of time and began a discussion about how I wanted to take our daughter to see this and then discuss some of the deeper implications of the film. I remember seeing the animated version with my first daughter and feeling enraged about how the Beast had treated Beauty...taking her from her father and community, caging her, mentally torturing her...not allowing her to eat unless it was with Him, etc. It led to a lot of discussions about domestic violence and how fairy tales lead us to believe that love concurs all. My ex said she was up for the post movie watching dialog.
But this time, 26 years later, I had a different reaction and response. I still had the tears, although they were during different parts of the film then before. Of course, I've changed a lot in this second 26 years of living. I've learned that whatever I'm viewing outside myself is actually a reflection of 's going on deep within me. Are both Beauty and the Beast outward reflections of my inner reality? The Feminine and Masculine within? My own struggle with acceptance of my Light and Dark aspects? Don't get me wrong here...I'm not saying that the Feminine is Beauty and Light...seems a bit like sugar and spice...and I don't ascribe to that line of thinking/conditioning anymore. I'm also not saying the Feminine is the female here as we all have both Feminine and Masculine inside. Not sure if I'm clearing things up or making them more confusing...
Anyway...My feminine desires to create, to be loved and cherished, to be fucked like crazy & lose control and to be held firmly and contained and to be owned and free, all at the same time. My masculine desires to be appreciated for all the figuring out he does, the holding, the containment, the trying to keep safe, the courage and strength. And he wants to fuck like a wild beast too...without apology. They both desire to be vulnerable and safe. And yes, I felt all of this, all the way through the film.
I shared some of this with my daughter. That a lot of what we hear and see in movies and stories...the struggle, the sacrifice, the surrender, and the union...is really about what happens within ourselves...when we cut off from our desires...judge parts of ourselves as Bad/Wrong/UnHoly/Too Much/Not Enough...and try to distance ourselves from them.
My hope is to keep discovering these parts of my own self...to keep loving them fiercely and fearlessly...to bring about union of my feminine and masculine...to love and accept my own Beauty and Beast...and to remain vulnerable so that my daughter can feel how it's done. BTW, I do believe that Love does lead to transformation...it's alchemical and it happens within.
Go see the movie...see what you feel.
To Union! Blessed Be!
the Orgasmic Witch