I heard the knocking again...
This time it may have been at the end of a dream I was having. In the dream someone had throw something that looked like a hot coal under my apartment door and I knew it was an explosive so I scooped it up and put it in the sink to run water over it. Then I heard the loud knocking...
I laid there in a cold sweat. Paralyzed...Afraid to look outside. After a while I fell back to sleep. Right back to the same dream...fear wasn't finished with me. This time I heard someone knocking around outside my kitchen. This time, in the dream, I got up and opened the door. It was an old woman rummaging through my trash, looking for food. I told her that I had had the intention of cleaning out my pantry and that if she would just wait a few moments. I would return with some food. I did, and she was grateful. I also thanked her because it was her asking for help that finally called me into action.
FEAR is a strange thing and our responses are even more interesting. So many time I am paralyzed by my fears. I become inactive and allow for them to run me. One of my practices that I do is called fear inventory. It's the writing out of every fear, reading it to another person, handing the fear over to Spirit and then burning the paper they are written on.
Fear can also teach us what it is that we truly desire. Often, when someone asks me what I want or desire. I don't have a clear answer. Sometimes I've pushed my desire so far down I'm out of touch with it. But let me tell you, when I start running my fears, I get a clear picture of what I don't want. And this can often help me to discover what it is that is really my heart's desire.
Maybe that's why, in the resolution part of my dream, I was the one who became grateful.
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